In His Head
by PermeliaSong
Summary: Maia feels that Jace is drifting away, into someone else's arms.


_Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments fandom or the series, Cassandra Clare does. I do not make any money off this writing._

_Summary: One-shot. Maia feels that Jace is drifting away, into someone else's arms._

_Warning: Language, implied infidelity._

In His Head

Their relationship was an interesting one; if anyone ever came up and asked Maia Roberts whether or not Jace Wayland, also know as just "Lightwood" to many, was difficult to date, her reply would be no. However, the real and truthful answer to the question would be yes. There were times where their relationship was stable. Times where she would wake up in the morning, walk out of their shared bedroom for the past four years towards their kitchen corner, and would sit in her pajamas—which were usually just one of his large shirts and a pair of boy shorts—eating a delicious bowl of cereal. Her long, bushy, brown mane would be wildly framing her head, mostly as a result from sleep, sometimes from the activities of their previous night together. He would eventually wake up, go to sit across from her, and look at her.

"I love you," he would say. She then, in turn, would glance back at him. Sometimes her mouth would be full of cereal too; yet still, she would manage a smile. Other times when her mouth wasn't full, her response would be,

"I love you too."

Those were the times she loved and cherished. The times where they would lie in bed after intense hours of lovemaking, and he would hold her, intertwining their legs together to bring her closer. It felt as if they were molded together. They would talk; he would let her into his trouble and chaotic mind, the walls that he built to keep everyone at bay suddenly vanished. Maia felt special then, honored, even, that he let those barriers around him fall for her. He seemed to feel the same way, when she opened up to him. Moments like these were perfect.

However, moments like those didn't last long; in fact, they started coming around less and less. The hours of lovemaking and talking were replaced by a chaste kiss on her forehead before turning over and going to sleep. Weekends when they would hang out with their friends at Segan's or Lunar—two bars for Nightchildren—turned into weekends where he would get hammered and flirt incessantly with the bartender or the waitress in front of Maia. She was too kindhearted to punish him, and he would wake up the next morning and act as if nothing had ever happened. No apology was given if she confronted him about it. His response would be,

"I'm still with you, aren't I?"

She detested the times when he would come home at extremely late hours, smelling of different kinds of perfume. One was more familiar than the rest, yet as much as she racked her brain, she couldn't figure out whom it belonged to. He would go take a shower and proceed to crawl into bed with her, wrapping his arms around her stomach and kissing her forehead before lying down and drifting off into sleep, which always seemed to come so easily to him. No bad dreams, no conscience nagging at him to do the right thing. Did he even _have_ a conscience_?_

She was appalled the time she found bright red lipstick on the collar of his shirt, especially since _she_ was the one that bought him that shirt. _She_ was the one that stood in the never-ending line at Macy's with a bunch of noisy and short-tempered women, and _she_ paid with the money that she worked hard for. Now it had been stained with a harlot's mark.

Maia even went to lengths to ask Isabelle, Jace's adopted sister and Maia's best friend, who was great at identifying brands and owners of makeup as she was at catching men.

"The girl wears some cheap lipstick, that's for sure." Isabelle came over her house for a weekly girl time, and she tossed the shirt onto the couch. "You need to talk to him."

Maia, of course, did not confront him at first, until one night at Luke's house. They were having a "family" dinner; Maia felt the tension between Simon and Clary. Simon, even though he was laughing and joking, seemed agitated. He occasionally shot Clary, his longtime girlfriend, some icy glares. However, no one but Isabelle caught on; she stared at Maia curiously. Maia tried to shrug it off, but the situation was unsettling and weighed heavily on her delicate shoulders.

Maia turned back to the conversation at hand, and she smiled at the joke Magnus made. But her gaze turned away from the flamboyant warlock and instead fell on the redhead girl, whose eyes were on the person next to her: Clary's ex-boyfriend, and Maia's current boyfriend, Jace. She turned to look at him, but he wasn't looking in either one of their directions; instead, his eyes were focused on the empty plate in front of him. The werewolf girl glanced back at Clary, who met her gaze. Panic was what Clary's eyes betrayed. _But at what__?_ thought Maia. Her deep brown eyes shifted away from Clary's pale green ones towards her lips, which were covered in bright red lipstick. _Did she wear that a lot?_ she wondered. Maia had never taken much notice of the girl, since they were never close and they barely talked.

But now… something was different, as if the air had shifted. A thought popped into Maia's mind: Clary was the other woman. The thought made a small smile form on her face because it sounded so absurd; but then as quickly as the smile appeared, it vanished.

_But thousands of women wear red lipstick. For Angel's sake, it's fucking New York City! No_, she thought to herself. _No, it's not her. It can't be her, because then everything that he said wasn't true. He said he was over her_. But the way Clary was looking at her, with guilt written all over her face, Maia knew. She knew why Simon was thoroughly pissed.

_Why would Simon come with her if he knew she was cheating?_ Maia mused. Then another thought gripped her: _he doesn't know. He knows she's cheating, but not with Jace. _Her hand had tightened its grip around the glass that she held—a little too strongly, for it broke within her grasp from the force. The conversation halted, but she didn't notice it or the panic in Isabelle's, Simon's, and Jocelyn's voice. All she could think of was Jace and Clary, _her_ Jace holding Clary, _her _Jace kissing Clary. Her stomach and heart fell at the thoughts. Maia didn't feel it when Isabelle and her boyfriend, James—a fellow werewolf—helped her up and led her to the bathroom.

Her thoughts were swirling around in her head; she refused to believe that even after all that they had been through; he would go and cheat on her. Sure, he flirted constantly in public, much to her chagrin. But this was not some inconsequential flirting; this was a completely different situation altogether. Maia wished it were some other woman, some unknown woman that was loose and slept with a lot of guys. Anyone but Clary, anyone but the woman he had past relations with.

Was something wrong with Maia? Was she not enough for him? What was it?The more she thought, the more she realized that she did nothing wrong, and that it was his entire fault. Anger coursed through her again, and suddenly her strength was renewed. She didn't listen to Isabelle, who was shouting at her to sit back down so she could finish cleaning the cuts she didn't even notice she had on her hands. She ignored her and walked down the hallway, into the living room where the others were sitting and talking about her, no doubt. But she didn't care about that either. Instead she went over to the small, circular wooden table where a glass vase sat and picked it up. With all her might she hurled the vase towards Jace. Unfortunately, it didn't it him. _Damn my terrible aim_, she thought. He turned quickly to look at his girlfriend.

"Maia, what the hell is your problem?" he shouted, completely astounded by her abrasive behavior. He brushed pieces of the vase off of his clothes.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, YOU BASTARD!" she screamed. "DEFINITELY NOT AFTER YOU'VE BEEN SCREWING THAT WHORE BEHIND MY BACK!" She pointed to Clary, who had moved away into the far corner of the room.

"What are you talking about?" Jace shouted back at her, standing up. His face was bright red with anger.

"Maia, you need to calm down before you turn!" Luke shouted, walking over to her, his hands up in defense. She hadn't noticed how bad she was shaking or how fast her heart was racing. The look on both Luke and Simon's faces made her relax. She wasn't a violent person; she wasn't her brother, Daniel. Maia shook that thought of her deceased sibling away, turning back to the task at hand. The pack leader walked behind her and placed his strong calloused hands on her bare shoulders. She sighed outwardly, trying to gain control of herself.

"I'm sorry, Luke." She reached a hand to her shoulder and placed it on top of his.

"It's okay," he reassured her.

Jace regained his composure and took a step towards her. "Maia, I've never cheated on you with anyone."

"Don't give me that bullshit," Maia said, struggling to stay calm. "I smelled her all over you one night. And her cheap ass lipstick was spread all over one of your shirts."

"W-we didn't sleep together," Clary stammered, her voice soft but audible. Everyone's attention fell on her. "I was trying to make Simon jealous, so I went out to a club with my friend. I saw Jace in a bar, sitting with some girls. He was pretty drunk so I decided to take him home, and it was a struggle to get him to the car, so the lipstick smear was unintentional. I tried to get it out, I swear, but it stayed, so I left the shirt on him. I didn't want him to come home without one."

"Wouldn't be the first time," Maia muttered. It was true; he came home one evening without a shirt on him. He slept on the couch for a whole month after that, and Maia never got an apology either. Instead she got, "You're paranoid," and, "You're acting insane."

Simon looked over at Clary, shaking his head. "Why would you do that?"

"Simon, we barely talk anymore," Clary started as she walked over to him, but her mother cut her off.

"I think this conversation would be best at home, when you two are alone," Jocelyn stated, getting up from her seat on the couch. "I think this evening is over."

The younger adults agreed, and they began to gather their things. Jace walked cautiously over to his girlfriend, holding her coat in his hands.

"Come on, love, let's go home," Jace said softly.

"I don't want to go home with you," Maia stated sternly.

"What? Where are you going to stay?" he asked.

"With me," Isabelle said, walking over to stand next to Maia. She placed an arm around her shoulder. "She's going to stay with me."

Maia saw her boyfriend frown out of the corner of her eyes. She guessed he was still expecting sex, even after all that happened. Jace looked at her, hoping she was going to change her mind, even though he knew she wouldn't. He nodded and handed her the coat before heading out of the door.

Maia turned to Luke, who smiled sadly at her. She embraced him tightly before apologizing for the broken vase.

"I'll replace it," Maia said.

"Don't worry. It wasn't a family heirloom or anything," Luke said, giving her a gentle pat on the back. "Plus, Jocelyn hated it anyway."

"What are you doing here?"

It had been three weeks since the incident, and although Jace constantly called Isabelle's phone nonstop about Maia, the werewolf girl did not return any of the fifty-five calls. Isabelle was just about to leave to go to James's house when she found Jace standing in her doorway.

"What do you think, Izzy? I came to see my girlfriend," Jace replied. He was wearing jeans and a plain white shirt, and his hair looked as if he hadn't combed or brushed it in days. However, he still was incredibly good-looking. Isabelle bit her bottom lip. A part of her didn't want to let Jace in, but she remembered how Maia walked around her apartment sulking, clearly missing the little bastard. Isabelle hated seeing her best friend miserable.

Which was another part of why she didn't want to let Jace in. She loved him, she truly did. But his behavior was ridiculous and completely unseemly. He flirted with bartenders and waitresses in front of her and the others, and even in front of Maia—his own damn girlfriend. She was embarrassed for Maia; she didn't even understand how she put up with him. Maia was a good person; she was funny, smart, and beautiful. Isabelle thought Maia could do a hell of a lot better than her asshole brother. However, the Shadowhunter knew that it wasn't up for her to decide.

"She's in her room, sleeping," Isabelle said, pushing past him. "Please don't piss her off. I like every piece of furniture in my house."

He smiled and nodded. "Thanks, Izzy."

Jace found her in the guest bedroom, sleeping soundly. He went to the other side of the bed, removed his shoes, and crawled into bed with her. She stirred and rolled over so that she was facing him. He reached out and stroked her face gently, something he did a lot while she slept, but he'd never admit it to anyone. Her eyes opened slowly.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. He detected no anger in her voice, only grogginess from sleep.

"I came to see you. I missed you," he said sincerely.

"You could have called," she said softly, sighing.

"You haven't returned any of my phone calls."

"That's because I didn't want to talk to you," she said, looking away from him.

He scooted closer to her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer towards him. "I'm sorry."

Her eyes fell towards his. "What did you say?"

"I said I'm sorry. I'm an asshole. I know that. I fucked up." The words she had been waiting for had finally come out of his mouth. It felt exhilarating, especially since he actually meant it, and she could tell that he did.

"Sorry for what?"

"Everything. For flirting with other women, for coming home late, for not being the boyfriend you deserve."

She didn't reply, just stared into the golden orbs of his eyes. He was a dick, and he knew that. Being in a serious relationship scared him, and he was always worried about fucking it up. The one he had with Clary had been… well, the point was that it didn't last long. The two year relationship ended as abruptly as it started. He realized that he was not in love with Clary as he thought himself to be. He realized that it was only a crush—infatuation. Besides, the person who knew her best inside and out was Simon, her best friend. He came to see that when he first knew that he was in love with Maia. He had struck up a friendship with the werewolf girl during his relationship with Clary. Maia was tough, she didn't put up with his bullshit or anyone else's for that matter. Although she was all those things she was soft and gentle, she was patient and kind. Every friendship came with its fair share of problems, and theirs had some. However despite the arguments he really appreciated her, he respected her more than anyone else.

She was the reason that he didn't feel any jealousy or resentment when he saw Simon and Clary together. Jace didn't know a lot of things but one thing he did know was that he loved Maia, with all his heart.

"I know I've strayed, but I've never been unfaithful."

She sighed and closed her eyes. "I should hate you…" Her voice trailed off, and he waited for her to continue, silently praying for her to do so. "But I want this to work more than anything because… I love you."

His heart was pounding in his chest. "I love you too, so much." He leaned in and kissed her tenderly on the lips.

They made love for the first time in many months—Maia had stopped counting. The sex was long and slow, and he savored every part of her, planting gentle kisses all over her body. Afterwards he held her close, and they talked like they used to. She didn't know whether nor not if he would stray again. Instead, she embraced the moment of being back in his head.

* * *

**Author Note**: Thanks to _rileyluvr13 _for betaing. =)


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